I have always aimed higher than anyone else and it wouldn’t be anything wrong with that if I wouldn’t give up in a process. I have written over 100 poems, but gave it up as I didn’t believe I can actually make it in this poetry business. I am quite happy I didn’t pursue this dream to be honest 🙂 But this hasn’t stopped me there. I have started writing a book. I did finish it even. I had a print at home but I have moved it so many times and someone borrowed few pages that it got lost and never did anything with it. I still have it on the floppy disc ( for those who don’t know what that is, it’s an old version of USB memory stick :-)).
When your life goes on and you think of what do you really want to do your brain is tricking you as you don’t really know. You might think that you want to be a pilot but if you haven’t tried it you don’t know if something will not stand in your way or if you are good enough. Those obstacles are everyday life. We shouldn’t be scared of any of it, we should respect it and find a way around it.
But we always should look for happiness. It’s hard to differ happiness from what we are already used to. We run for fast success, social media is showing us better lives of others, we want to be better than them. Pressure. We forget we have our own lives and if there was nothing else in the world, would we be happy? With our children, boyfriends, husbands, lazy Sundays, busy Mondays?
I used to be worried about my legacy. What if my life will not be worth anyone remembering it, will I always be known for being too honest, speaking my mind too much and basically pissing everyone off? I am not worried anymore. I have only a need of expressing myself even if this blog reads only my dear friend Marta 🙂 My legacy is not how many magazines I sell, how many set of nails I will do, how smart people think I am, leaving a smile behind on my daughter’s face, feeling good about myself everyday, not giving a shit about everybody else, this is my legacy.